Identifying with Jonah

I have come to realize that I identify with Jonah. Not in the traditional sense of 'running from God'. Most often in my life I have pursed Him and wanted to do what He said. I think that Jonah was like that. I think that He knew God, loved Him, followed Him and believed in Him. Jonah was a faithful follower. Why else would God have chosen him? I also know that as faithful followers  there will oftentimes be things that are hard for us. There will be many things in which we find it hard to obey what God is telling us to do. 

It is true that when Jonah heard where God wanted him to go and what God wanted him to do that he ran. He went in the opposite direction, and it was then that he found himself in the belly of the fish. What happened in those 3 days? It doesn't say that Jonah all of the sudden understood. We don't see that Jonah had an 'aha' moment where he knew what God was doing and now he could join him. No, it just says that Jonah decided to do what God told him to do. He decided to say 'yes' without understanding why. I would even go so far as to say that he 'disagreed' with God. We see that when all the people repented that "it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he became angry." He told the Lord, "Is this not what I said when I was still in my country?" In other words, I knew this is what You would do and I don't think that these people deserve to be saved. I disagree with You. From the belly of the fish, he decided to go anyway.

Even after he obeyed, he still disagreed with God, and so he argued and whined.. He just said 'yes'. He never reconciled that God is good, that God is sovereign and He really does know what He is doing. That His understanding far exceeds the boundaries of time; that  He has a far bigger plan than we can understand or fathom. If we desire to truly be a part of that plan we must say 'yes' even when we do not understand. IF that is truly what we want.

I know that is what I want. As I have told you, I wrestle with God quite often. My heart is to be obedient and to do whatever He says and to go wherever He leads no matter what, but there are SO MANY times that I do not understand. Or, to be more honest, I disagree with God.  How dare I disagree with God? Who do I think I am? So, I wrestle. Or, I find myself in the belly of a fish. I believe that the fish was God's mercy. He knew Jonah's heart and knew that Jonah loved God and was faithful. He gave Jonah 3 days in the belly of the fish so that he could become who he truly was and just say 'yes'. He could have killed him. Or, He could have just let him continue in his disobedience. But He put him in the belly of  a fish so that he had the time to find his true self.

In this journey, I have found myself in the middle of many 'yeses' without understanding. There are still many 'yeses' that I might disagree with. I hate to admit that, but I see the truth of it in my prayer time when it is so full of whining and complaining. This morning I found myself thanking God for being so kind, loving and patient with me. He keeps bringing me back to who I am and who I desire to be: the person that follows Him no matter what and believes that He truly is good and will accomplish all that is good, better and best. He knows that I want to be a part of ALL that He is doing. I want to be a part of the BIG things! If I truly want to be a part of what is big, miraculous, and supernatural, then I must say 'yes' when I don't understand and even when I disagree. I must trust Him enough to dive in, not being able to see the bottom or know where I will land. I will trust Him to catch me and take me to the place that my heart has truly desired all along.