Thankful that God Knows Me

I had the honor of speaking at my church on Sunday. When my pastor asked me, he told me to speak what was on my heart. This has been quite a journey for me. I tend to be a passionate person, but articulating my heart, what I believe and hold so deeply, is often a struggle. To be honest, when I feel strongly about something I have a tendency to not talk in a straight line. The looks on people's faces makes it clear to me that they are having a hard time following me. So, as I prepared I struggled to put into words what is so important and vital to me and who I believe I am. The interesting part to me is that it all boils down to things that I have learned at the PARC.

I have learned that God knows more about me than I know about myself, and He wants to fulfill the desires of my heart. I was a Children's Pastor for 25 years, and I loved it. When I wasn't a Children's Pastor any longer, I found that I was very lost. I didn't know what to do. When someone asked me if I would work at a place that served those who are homeless and had an addiction recovery program, I said, "No". I am embarrassed to say that I told them that God had not "called me to the homeless". I can't believe that I said that. I am embarrassed. It feels haughty to me, but I did. Again, I am grateful that God knows me better than I do and that He gives me lots of chances. I think that they asked me 3 times before I said that I would give it a try.

I found myself for the first time among people that were different from me. They had lived and were living lives that were different from mine and what I had experienced. . I was way out of my comfort zone. What I found was that they accepted me. In my naivety they  accepted me and helped me to understand their world a little bit better. It was in their acceptance of me that I began to learn to accept others. And that began my journey of learning to accept others without judgement. I have found that when I can accept others, that is when I find acceptance of myself. And when I can accept myself is when I can begin to accept others.

The PARC has served to be the biggest learning ground I have ever experienced. The opportunity to get to know and to have relationship with people that are so very different from me has changed me in ways I didn't even know I needed or were possible. I've learned about love and acceptance. I've learned to see people for who they are and not for what they do. I've gotten better about not judging people. The truth is that I thought I was good at that stuff. I truly loved people and I believed that I wasn't judgmental. Being at the PARC has opened me to a whole new world, a whole new way of seeing things and experiencing things. It has expanded my heart and my mind, and I am so very grateful.

Ever since we started the PARC I have said that I do not know what I am doing. I am way out of my comfort zone. Way out!!!! But what I have learned is that isn't the point. As I have been willing to step out of my comfort zone and into a world in which I have no experience and know nothing about, God has managed to bring me more to a place of completion. I am better for stepping out in my inexperience and vulnerability. I have had the honor to see God move in miraculous ways. I have watched people change. Most of all I have watched myself change.

I am going to spend the next few weeks sharing about some of the things that I have learned at the PARC. It has been quite a journey. One that I would never have chosen for myself. It truly does fulfill every desire of my heart, and I am forever grateful that God, knows me and loves me enough to bring me to a place such as the PARC.