Staying Connected

My how things have changed in such a short time. I find myself with so many mixed emotions. In trying to find my way through this dramatic paradigm shift, I realize that I am trying to find a normal. THIS IS NOT NORMAL! This is weird. Micah texted me the other day to tell me that she was shopping and they had bleach. Did I want her to get some for me? A friend came by last week and I 'gifted' her 2 rolls of toilet paper. This is not normal. When I try to add to this my ever changing schedule and the way I work now, I find myself trying to find some way that I can control something. I feel so out of focus and lost at times that I want to find a 'normal' in this mess.

Yes, I am grateful for so many things. We all are. What I think most of us struggle with is how do we do this relationship thing. I miss my friends. I miss hugs. While virtual meetings are fine, I would rather be with those people and have us all in the same room. And, I truly miss the Members of the PARC. As a staff we keep trying to figure out how we can stay connected. How can we have relationship with them when many of them don't have phones, access to the internet, computers or any of they things we are using to stay in touch?

I'm just sad. I don't know how Sharon is doing. She was always in and out of the hospital and her health is so bad. I don't know if Ramone finally got a job or if Cody is figuring out how to be sober. I miss them and I feel so helpless. A friend texted this to me recently. "When I read your newsletter about closing, my heart went to you, your team and especially your members. Even though you know that you made the right decision, it must be hard not being able to see them face to face. But you can still call them by name to our Gracious God, who HAS THIS!" Oh my, I can't type this without crying. Yes, we can still cry out to God who has all of us. He holds us and carries us and helps us to know what to do. He is creative and encouraging, and He is way better at taking care of things than me. The day we decided to close the PARC I heard one thing very clearly from God. He told me that He would take care of them. HE was their savior. Not me. That gives me comfort, but I am still so very sad.

According to the news reports it looks like we will be closed for several more weeks. I don't know what is going to happen. I don't know how we will muddle our way through this. I do know that I am grateful for the community that loves the PARC, loves our members and prays. That holds us together. That is the tie that binds us even when we can't be together. So, until we meet again, know that I hold you in my heart, and I trust and believe that God is well able to take care of this.