One Person at a Time

Last week I sat in a meeting and listened to someone describe "the homeless" .(I hate it when people call them that). I found myself becoming so angry. These are some of the words that I heard, "What we are seeing is that they are extremely violent and they are forming gangs that are gathering and beating up older people." There was an audible gasp in the room. He told horrible stories. He talked about how they make messes, and if you bring them food they just throw it down and then someone has to clean it up. He said to not give them hygiene items because they 'hoard' them or sell them. On and on. I became angrier and angrier. I found that I was taking it personally. He was talking about my friends!

Now I am not so naïve that I do not know that those things happen. I know. But I also know some of the people he was 'describing'. I know their names. I know their struggles. I know their stories. He said, "Don't give them clothes because they just take off what they have and throw it away because they never wash their clothes." I wanted to shout, "How are they supposed to wash them when they are living on the streets? Of course they throw them away. They have had the same clothes on for days, some even weeks. They need to be thrown away. Also, they have to carry everything around with them in a backpack. How are they going to carry around changes of clothes?"

I didn't say those things, and I tried to contain my passion. I began to describe my perspective. I simply talked about the list of hygiene items that we had provided and that they had been given to us by our members. They told us the things that THEY need the most. I talked about how sometimes they do hoard them, because they don't know when they will get another bottle of shampoo. They NEED multiple items of those things. It isn't important for me to repeat the whole conversation. You get the idea.

I am not so naïve that I do not know that some of those horrible things happen. What I want to make note of is that I knew some of the people he was describing. I know how there are so many times that they just want a shower and can't get one because they have been banned from those places that provide them. I know that they don't want to keep wearing the dirty clothes that they have on, but it is their only choice. i know this because I know them. I also know that sometimes they get violent and that they are angry. They are frustrated and disappointed. They are rejected and judged. Many of them have turned to drugs because it is their way of escape and they see no other way out. It truly does hurt my heart.

I believe that this is just one of the many reasons why the PARC is so needed. We aren't passing out resources to a statistic or 'the homeless'. We are loving, getting to know, having relationship with PEOPLE that are homeless. Yes, our hearts get broken when they do violent things or are irresponsible. We are so sad when they relapse after watching them try so hard to stay sober. Our hearts are broken because we know that isn't who they are. How dare he put them all in the same category and paint a broad picture of 'the homeless' and how they act.

I was speaking with one of our volunteers the other day about a young member that is in jail. We are sad. I received a letter from him apologizing for the way he had behaved. In his letter he said, "You and all those at the PARC have shown me nothing but love and discipline." He ended it with saying, "I love you Valerie G." The volunteer simply said, "He knew he was loved, and that means everything." And it's the truth. Yes, they mess up. Some of them over and over but they keep coming back. When they do get out of jail the first place they come is the PARC. They come because they know that here they are loved and accepted. They know that they want to change and this is the place they come to start again, hoping and believing that this time they can do it differently.

We ARE making a difference. We don't have the answer and we can't fix it. We do believe though, that rebuilding people ends homelessness. But it is only one person at a time. One person at a time people that are homeless will walk through the doors of the PARC. One person at a time people that are homeless will find a place of acceptance and love. A place to belong, be productive and discover that they don't have to live like this. There is hope. There are possibilities. Even when they mess up, they get to try again. One person at a time, and one person at a time they begin to change and move forward - to their 'next'. I am so very grateful for the PARC.