Thank You and Help!

I have been through a 'crisis" you might say in the past 2 weeks. At 2:30 on the morning of July 4th I received a phone call from my mother in Lubbock frantically telling me that my daddy was gone. I told her that I would be right there. Thus began the days of trying to process, mourn, greet and thank the many friends and plan a service for a great and humble man. The service was on Tuesday and it was perfect. That night my mom and I had a great conversation. shed some tears and talked a little about the future. We planned to talk more about that the next day.

The next day my mom suffered a massive stroke. There were so many things that happened from that moment on. Trying to navigate what the doctors were telling us and making decisions that would affect the rest of her life. There are so many emotions and perspectives from which to view this. I saw God's hand throughout. I saw God turn doctors and nurses hearts to reach out and help us in ways beyond what is 'normal'. I saw God open doors for us and lead the way for things we didn't know anything about. But in the middle of it all, my dad had just passed away, my mom couldn't talk and had limited use on her right side.

As the days went on there were so many decisions. We knew she couldn't stay in Lubbock, where she and my dad had lived for 60 years and attended the same church with the same friends. We decided Amarillo would be the best place. But what about a rehab facility and what about where she would live after that? All these decisions had to be made in less than a week, when she would be released from the hospital. .

I will just say that I didn't handle it all that well. I felt like a failure because if I truly trusted God I wouldn't be so stressed. I was running red lights and forgot how to pump gas. It wasn't good. I had people telling me that maybe I should consider some medication. But in the middle of all of that my mom began to say some words. She started eating with her right hand. More and more words came and she became stronger and stronger on her right side. She was a miracle. BUT, my dad had just died, her whole life was changed and she was being uprooted from all she knew. The phrase that has become my mantra is, "Thank You God, and HELP!!!"

I can't do this. I don't know what I am doing, and I truly don't know what emotion I am feeling. But I also know that I have peace and I believe in a bright future for my mom. This is supernatural. I know that it comes from the thousands of prayers that have been said on our behalf. They work and they are working. Thank you. God is moving on our behalf and I am grateful. I am also very sad and very uncertain what this new next will look like for us. So, I will continue to say, "Thank You God, and help". I know God is there. I know God is guiding us and fighting for us. I know that He has prepared the way. I also know that the times of grief will come, and when they do that He will be right there with us to comfort us and lead us through.

I am so grateful for my family that has proven to be a strong team when we all come together. I am grateful for all of you that have reached out and prayed and stepped in when we needed help. I am grateful and sad, uncertain and hopeful. And I will continue to say, "Thank You God, and help".